Nervous...

I start my new job tomorrow. My first ever job. I'm so nervous. I mean, it's bad enough that I'm probably just about the only angel in heaven who was brought up on earth for, like, most of my life. Been here what? Two years? Plus I'm kind of small for my age, and kind of young for an angel. I'm only 18. Why on earth did I apply? I should've gone for something easy, but what? Nothing's easy when you're illiterate. In fact, even this isn't all that easy. I have to get the computer to read everything out for me, and then I have to use the speak and type thing to get this on. I hope nobody realises I can't read or write or add up worth talking of. I just never got taught, and I've tried learning, but nobody realises how impossible it is to teach yourself to read. How am I supposed to know what all the little squiggles coming up on screen as I talk mean? No matter. I can get by. How hard can it be? It's not as though I'll be doing too much writing. At least, I hope not anyway. With luck, I'll spend most of my time fighting, and when I do have to write I'll be able to use the computer to write for me.
Then there's the other little thing about my job. I'm going to be the first female angel ever to work there on active duty. What if they all laugh at me, and at my accent? Nobody up here speaks with an American accent. They all sound English in this area. I can't believe I actually got accepted into the force. In fact, I can't believe I even applied, and then there was training. It's supposed to be pretty tough, but I didn't reckon it was all that hard. I have to find a guy called Red, he's my captain apparently. How I'm going to do that I don't know. In fact, I don't know how I'm going to manage anything. What if the directions are written? Besides, I don't really get maps either. I really don't want to make a fool of myself, because this is pretty much my only chance to be somebody.
I hope Gabriel doesn't say anything about him rescueing me. In fact, I hope nobody knows I ever lived on earth. I guess it's something I shouldn't be scared about, something I should just accept, but I don't know how people will react to me. So far most of the angels I've met have been pretty nice, but... I can't help thinking about the guards at the orphanage. I just... I don't know. I don't do big men who try and control me. I can't trust people, I know that, everyone tells me that they see it in me, that I can't trust and that it's really bad for me and it's true. I guess that's part of the reason I've started this blog. So that I am trusting somebody in a way. But not really. I don't know. I'm telling it, that's what you're supposed to do with problems, isn't it? Share them.
I hope Red's nice. I hope he doesn't try and control me or beat me up or anything. I hope the other guy I'm supposed to find, who's supposed to be my mentor, is all right too. Eagle I think he's called. I don't know. I hope I'm not the smallest person there. Angels are usually taller than humans see, but me, I'm small even for a human, just about five foot.